Tags: royalty


Hooray for the Queen. She sorts everything out, apparently.

The Queen, on her official birthday, has been praised by the Archbishop of Canterbury for (amongst other things) her loyalty and holding the nation together.

Her loyalty. I mean, really. What, she hasn't changed her mind about being born into the family? She's not decided to flee the country and become the powerless figurhead of some other backwards nation? Oh, do fuck off. She's a vicious old crone who looks down on everyone else. She is of the sort that thinks people should "know their place".

Dr Rowan Williams said that "common loyalty to the monarch had held the nation together". Fuck off. Really, I'm getting angry now. Yeah, I'm sure when we were protesting as a nation against war, we did it for the Queen. Not for what we believed in. Oh no. It was all for Liz. Glad we cleared that up.

Dr Williams also claimed that "the Queen had been a "steady presence" in an "age of inhumanity of ideology and of myths of racial supremacy". What? Did he actually manage to say that without laughing hysterically? Or even a hint of irony? So the Stephen Lawrence debacle was made better by the existence of the Queen, was it? Our nation being at war with itself over religion, race and background isn't nearly so bad BECAUSE WE HAVE THE FUCKING QUEEN? Fuck off, you doddering delusional old cunt. That just shows how out of touch you are with today's society. Trite, imbecilic little comments like that on the subject of major problems for Britain today show how pointless it is to listen to you about absolutely fucking anything. Your opinion now counts for less than that of a monkey flinging shit at people in London Zoo.

Before being led away from the podium with piss stains down the front of his cassock, the demented old wanker was heard to say "We have seen something of a monarch who has shared the vulnerability of ordinary people, and that has been moving in itself". No. No, she hasn't. She doesn't get on the fucking Tube in the morning to commute to a hard day's hand waggling, does she? No. She will never have the worry of paying the bills. Of wondering if she will be able to afford to have children, like many prospective parents do today. She'll never deal with the resentment engendered by the feeling that your boss doesn't appreciate you, will overlook you, and undermine you. She's not the same as us. She's not as vulnerable as us. SHE'S THE FUCKING QUEEN. The clue is in the name, you imbecilic fantasist. She's never going to be in the fucking dole queue, is she?

He even had the temerity to try and bring greatest atrocity of the last century into it: Dr Williams said "great lies" such as the "Holocaust and Stalinism and ethnic cleansing, fanaticism and terror and mass destruction" reminded us what a tough question it was to ask what gives cohesion to a society.* Well, it's obviously not for the fucking church, is it, you demented old cunt? The murder of 6 million Jews, gypsies, homosexuals and dissenters is not something you bring up to say how handy someone is unless they actually fought it, ok? That is facile, insensitive, and displays an astounding lack of perspective. Dr Williams, you and your funny little organisation now mean fuck all, understand? Do yourself a favour. Get a service revolver, go for a long walk in the woods, and do the decent thing, ok?

As it happens, I think there's one very good reason for keeping the monarchy. The money. They bring in a large amount of revenue in tourism, which is good for the nation. That's it. They don't aid cohesion. They don't share our vulnerability. They didn't help deal with the holocaust. And they don't help me sleep at night. Don't claim that they do, or I'll set fire to your house.

*BBC online.