DeeTee (deeteeuk) wrote,

The vengeance of bacon.

So, I got up for work as normal. Pottered about a bit. Realised I had a sore throat. Further realised I had a dodgy stomach and was pretty hot. I normally ignore things like that, but the dreaded swine flu pandemic of doom and death has been rampant at work*, so I called that stupid hotline, largely in the hope that they would say "you've got a headache and dodgy stomach. That's it." After spending half an hour telling the woman where I lived, I have been told to sit on my arse for a week and get someone to pick up Tamiflu for me. Fucking marvellous.

This feels ridiculous. I don't feel that bad. A bit ropey perhaps, but hardly more than a middling hangover.** I know I'm doing the right thing, but I feel like a fraud, sitting on my hands when I'm not that bad. Bah.

One other thing occurred though. They did tell me that I have "another health concern that should be treated separately." Essentially, one of my symptoms doesn't fit the pattern, and probably isn't the dreaded pig death. But they won't tell me which one. So they tell you one of these things is not like the other, and then leave you guessing. Lovely, well done. Doesn't particularly bother me, but I can see why it might bother most.

Oh well. I am already bored. If I start sending you emails about how you can get this disease from tinned pork products, delete the email. It's only spam.***

* Insert joke here.
** No. I wasn't drunk.
*** Sorry.
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You're not staying home because you're ill, you're staying home because you're contagious, and someone who catches it off you might be really ill.

I'd say a week off and not feeling all that bad sounds like total win :)
As I said, I know I'm doing the right thing, and I know I'd feel worse if I gave it to a colleague that then had a serious problem with it. I guess it's just made slightly worse by everyone at work assuming that whoever gets it is just a malingering sod. Also, I deal badly with boredom!
OK... so, you don't have serious symptoms, and you've got a few days spare time. And not much to do in it. Your public expects two short stories out of you by the end of the week.

Off you go, now ;)